Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

...go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.  ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

That's point isn't it?  We shouldn't just follow the path, especially in the last years that we can still decide much of our life.  We must make our own map, we must blaze a trail, if not for our own well being, then for those who will follow us, like our children.

"We have lived that path before. We know the outcome. Today is different. Today we must use our minds and make our own map. If not for us, then for those who follow, like our children. A little more difficult? Chance if failure?  Yes. But that is what we are challenged to give our children. That is what Zeb Pike and so many others gave us." From an email I sent this morning. -Chris

On my honor I will do my best....

One of the things I picked up in Boy Scouts that has been very useful is the Sout Oath, "On my honor I will do my best to do my duty to God and my country...." This morning my shoulder's pain started to interfere with my ability to think past the current moment. "How could I do all I am supposed to do with this pain. I might as well give up now...". And then there was that little voice inside me that said "Now wait a minute Chris, all you need to do is your best." That's it. That's all I can do, my best. Today that may just be enough. Now to go forward.....

I really didn't plan on this happening....

Sherwin B. Nuland in his book "The Art of Aging: A Doctor's Prescription for Well-Being" makes the comment that we should plan on getting old.  There are decisions we make in our lives that help us to better age gracefully.

I haven't done much planning on that, but I did read his book. Maybe that's a start.

Balance

Somewhere out there, there is balance.  Somewhere out there I've spent enough time with my family and enough time at work and enough time at church.

In my almost 50 years, I can't remember a time when I have gotten this balance right...but maybe there was a time.....

Recovering from surgery

Physical Therapy

You'll notice the sling on my right arm.  That's from rotator cuff surgery last Wednesday.  The injury was due to pushing myself a little too hard, a little too often in the weight room.  

I've learned late in life what my swimming coach tried to teach me, what my football coaches tried to teach me, and that is:  "You have to push yourself to see what you are capable of doing."  I think that is the real lesson in high school sports.  Pushing yourself to the next level of performance, even when you are in pain, even when you are tired.  The lesson is that you can go even further than you ever thought you could go.  

But alas, in the pool I could have pushed myself harder, on the football field I should started the sport earlier (Sr. Year) and when I found myself on the playing field, I should have confronted my fear more and gave the game all the energy I had.  As it was, I often held back and I usually had a little gas left in the tank at the end of the game.

Sadly I missed an opportunity to improve myself and to find out what I was really capable of.  

So this week I found myself sidelined at home recovering from surgery that stemmed from an effort to make up for lost time - oh so many years ago.

The recovery really wasn't so bad.  I spent more time with my wife, I took the narcotic pain killers often and I practiced my guitar skills.  I didn't watch any TV at all.  So really how bad could it be?  It was 10 days of Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll!!

; )

It is not what I am, it is what I'm striving to be.

As I look at the life behind me it is easy to shudder with disappointment and to cower away and to fear the future. But that is where I am. I must look back just quick enough to learn the lessons of the past and then to set my sights on who I am now and whom I want to be in the future. If circumstances permit, I want to be a very good grandfather.

Yeild not to calamity, but face her boldly. -Virgil

Easily said by an old dead Roman. But live it, yes. But that is rather difficult isn't it?

Me at the beginning at the Manitou Incline

This is my first entry.  Today is the 23rd of Sept 2011.  In two months I will be 50 years old.  

Is that a bad thing?

I don't think so.  

I see a lot of people spending thousands of dollars and huge chunks of time to try to change the physical look that the years have given them.  I sympathize with this approach.  Would I like to be 19 again?  Could I have the body I had then?  Along with the opportunities to do things over, better?

Sure I'll take that Disney Ride, but truth is, I've had a great life then.  More importantly, I must make a great life now, with reality as it is, not as I wish it to be.

You see that little paunch there in my gut?  Uh-uh, it didn't get there on accident.  That is the results of years of choices, many of them were wrong.  Lets see if I can fix that in the near term

The one thing that I hope to share with you is that where we are in life is often a result of our choices.  I think, as I approach 50, I'm going to choose to be 50.  I'm planning on making the most of this part of life, but I will spend precious little pretending I'm something else.